I’m stupid and I know it

We’re getting dumber, let’s face it. We don’t use our brains like we used to. How do I know? I am living proof.

I don’t know anyone’s phone numbers because they are all programmed in my phone. I don’t know what time or channel TV shows are on because it’s all pre-programmed to record them. I don’t know how to cook because it’s just easier to throw the frozen dinner in the toaster oven and come back 30 minutes later. I don’t wash dishes anymore, I throw them into a machine and come back an hour later when they are clean and dry and I put them away.

Never more had I felt hopeless/useless than when I went grocery shopping with my mom. I’m a cheapskate, I’ll fully admit that. So I always just buy what I think the better bargain is. But there were some toughies that my mom cringed about. (My mom is a teacher, by the way.)

Take for instance the box of eight granola bars for $1.50 and the box of 40 granola bars for $7.50. I stood there thinking the larger quantity would be cheaper because that’s generally how bulk buying works. But is it? Do you know which is cheaper? Or would you whip out a calculator to figure it out?

It seems like most people’s favourite phrase these days is “there’s an app for that”, meaning you can download a program on your cellphone or tablet to assist you with life’s everyday tasks and not have to do the brainwork yourself.

No longer do we need to be able to figure out things on our own – in fact, my brother pointed out there is an app for the grocery aisle dilemma I ran into – because people rely so heavily on technology that we feel smart knowing we know how to figure it out with the assistance of a device. Without that device? We’re screwed.

We feel smart when we know the ins and outs of the technology we use, which is comical to me, but we don’t know the basic formulas for actually solving the equation.

I have been a writer for many years. Now, when I jot down a phone number of message on a piece of paper, I have to look at it a few times and decode what I wrote. And I went to school back in the day when they taught us cursive writing.

I wonder if there’s an app that measures my stupidity level.

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