Worried about not being anxious
The other week I recorded a TV show about anxiety. The CBC program was examining how society relies so heavily on self-diagnosis and medication.
Having battled anxiety and depression years ago I thought watching the documentary would make me feel good about being off meds for seven years and how far I have come.
I would get self gratification that I beat the problem. I would feel great knowing I was naturally happy and didn’t need pills to get through the day.
In actuality I started going through a mental checklist of all the symptoms and scenarios people described from their own life and related them to how I was… and tied them in with my current state of mind.
The show featured experts telling how people see ads for anxiety medications and do the same thing: oh, I have that; yup, that’s me. (Kinda what I was doing while watching it.)
Do the meds actually help or is it all in the mind? I’m not taking sides in the argument because I can’t say for sure if it was a prescription that helped me or just my revised thought process.
Either way, the show talked about how people convince themselves something is wrong and go to their doctor asking for a certain medication. Doctors fill out the prescription and send the patient on their way.
That’s what I did. I look back and realize I recited the things I thought were happening because I’d heard them on a commercial and answered things the doc asked so I would sound worse than I think I was.
All in all it was my positive thought process that pushed aside the current fear of being anxious and I slammed back another vodka and enjoyed the rest of the night.
Disclaimer: for the love of cripes, don’t ever use this column as medical advice.
