Am I busy or just lazy?

Have you ever gone out and bought more plates because you didn’t want to wash the ones in the sink? Anybody raising their hand? OK, so it’s just me.

I already have a set of eight plates that can last me a week. But what happens on the last day when the final plate gets dirty? Naturally you go out and buy paper plates rather than washing the ones in the sink.

How about when you run out of clean clothes and wear a swimsuit around the house? (I even went out and bought more socks so I would only have to do laundry once every month or so.)

My first attempt at cutting the grass I broke the lawnmower and had it smoking and making a sizzling sound. What went wrong? I guess I let the foot-long grass get out of control and it was too much for the mower.

At one point I thought I was a typical twenty-something male who preferred to be out doing stuff rather than housework. But after asking around, I think I’ve stooped to a whole new level.

I’ll admit I work a lot and with my downtime I prefer to do nothing. Between this newspaper column, the weekly syndicated radio show and the daily entertainment headlines, I end up putting in a lot of extra hours and at the end of the day I am exhausted. I’m a workaholic. Even if I have a day off at the house I find work (career work, not housework of course) to do.

I’ve come to the conclusion I’m a horrible house-worker but a great business-worker.

How am I surviving now? I have a neighbourhood kid cut my grass and do the yardwork. I’ve hired a maid to clean my house every couple weeks. And while both of them are doing their jobs, I’m in an office huddled over the computer firing out another newspaper column. Hey, maybe I can blame you for all this. If you feel like cutting an extra lawn, give me a shout!