I’m just a G in the growing alphabet

I predicted I was opening a can of worms with my comments about the LGBTQIA2+ (LMNOP, etc.) community last week. I could easily be a psychic. Easily.

Last week, I commented how my life could be described as low-key gay. There’s nothing flamboyant or rainbow about my fashion, home decor or lifestyle. I married a masculine Brazilian fitness model and we live — get ready for some hate mail — a straight-ish life… except for one major difference with body parts, of course.

I say that because the “trans debate” that’s dividing North American culture has grouped everyone that’s not straight into the discussion. In a sense, some gay men need to differentiate themselves and explain, “No, just because the T is part of the series of letters, I, as a G have no connection to that group whatsoever.”

That’s not to say we’re anti-trans. We’re not. While I can’t relate to the emotional and physical toll a trans person goes through in life, I’m human enough to understand where they’re coming from and accept that that’s who they are.

But as the randomized alphabet continues to grow, people need to realize that each letter in the series is something different. It’s not two groups: straight and everything not straight. And, yes, each letter has its own struggles. (Well, maybe not so much bi folks but that’s another debate.)

It’s fascinating, though disheartening, that people practically need to put an asterisk or disclaimer on their life/lifestyle/sexuality because of how polarizing the trans movement has been.

Thankfully, I live how I want and am not pressured into explaining myself (with the exception of this column, of course), but not everyone has that inner strength to let things roll off their back. Does it hurt me when someone calls me a fag? First, it rarely happens that someone does, and second, no, it doesn’t hurt me.

It’s hurting the kids who are made to feel worthless, the ones who turn to alcohol and drugs to cope, the ones who consider taking their life, the ones who do take their life. It’s hurting them, it’s not hurting me. I have the courage to ignore people or tell them to piss off. And it’s OK for people to not feel comfortable doing that. But why should they have to?

Just because we’re gay, we’re suddenly linked to predatory drag queen storytime and trans athletes overtaking sports and the fight over which bathrooms people can use. That’s got nothing to do with us. In fact, it’s a fairly ignorant comparison.

When a person is scared to be who they are — gay or whatever — because they’ll automatically be considered a pedophile or a grooming drag queen or a trans science experiment… I mean, come on, this shit’s getting dangerous.

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