We can be ‘proud’ without crusading, parading and being part of the spectacle
I appreciate that we’re allowed to express our minds, stick up for our beliefs and protest what we feel is injustice in this country. I don’t, however, believe that everyone is expected to be a crusader if they’re “one of them.”
It’s Pride Month. I took heat from some radio listeners for not being at events in Manitoba and California (where my husband and I have homes). Instead, we were in Mexico enjoying some downtime. I must’ve missed the note in the Gay Community Handbook that outlined which events were mandatory to attend.
It reminded me of when Bruce Jenner announced he was going to transition and my on-air radio colleagues wanted my feelings about it. Well, I’m not trans and it’s quite a leap to expect that as a gay man I can relate to a straight man wanting to become a woman. It doesn’t work that way.
My husband and I are freethinkers who live without making everything a campaign or a movement. I understand the importance of Pride to, what used to only be gays, but it’s turned into the everything-not-straight monthlong – now, corporate pandering – celebration. (A nod to the LGBTQIA2+ movement. What all those last letters, number and character mean I don’t know but, again, I didn’t fully read the handbook.)
As cliche as it sounds, we’re just guys who like guys. There are no rainbow flags in our houses, there are no torso sculptures on our properties, our dogs don’t have rainbow bandanas, we don’t wear nail polish or clown makeup and prance in parades. If people want to do that, awesome. It’s not our scene though.
My fear about the gay community when I came out 20 years ago was that I’d be viewed as “one of them.” By that, I mean the images we saw on the news of over-the-top drag queens and scantily clad revellers at a parade. I was, in a sense, against the idea of that sideshow because I never understood the connection between the initial Pride movement and the spectacle it’s transitioned into, excuse the term, today. Now, I don’t care because I’ve realized I’m an individual and not “one of them.”
In writing this, I’ll receive emails saying I’m slamming the trans and gay communities — I’ve even been called homophobic… really. I’ve stated many times that people can do whatever they want as long as it’s not hurting others.
If it doesn’t impact my life, then why would I waste the energy giving a flying fig about what someone is doing? If I did, it’s time for me to get a life and find a hobby. It’s not on you, it’s on me — and that’s my problem. Fortunately, I mind my own business and appreciate when others do the same.
