Sure, you can take my dog, but he’s old, deaf and needs medication

Lady Gaga faced a pet owner’s worst nightmare after her dogs were stolen. The story made headlines around the world when her dog walker was shot and two of her three pooches were stolen.

I’ve always been cautious with my dogs. Before going into the yard, I look out the back window to make sure the gate is closed and I stick my head out the door and look to the front gate before any four-legged family members go. It’s happened before where someone cuts through the yard or a delivery person drops off and leaves gates wide open.

Shortly after getting my purebred golden retriever, my mom made me feel protective over him. People often tie up their dogs and run into a store to get something. I remember her telling me, “I’d never do that to Ernie. Someone would take him.” And I never have. It’s partially because he’d freak out that I was leaving him and would cause a scene. He’s a little clingy.

About two weeks before Gaga’s drama, I actually thought about what I’d do if someone dog-jacked me. What would I do if someone ran up and said, “Give me your dog”? Would I hand him over? Would I put up a fight? Would it matter if or what kind of weapon they had?

I think my response would be, “OK, you can have him. But let me run home and get his blood pressure medication for you. And I’ll have to give you his arthritis pills — remember to give them twice daily with his special dietary food. And he’s deaf so he won’t hear you calling him to eat.” Seriously. I actually thought of doing that.

Would that work? Maybe. I also considered putting that on his tag if he ever goes missing. “My name is Ernie. If you find me, please call XXX-XXXX right away because I need my allergy medication.” That might prevent someone from keeping him, right?

I hope it would make someone say, “This old dog has too much baggage. No thanks” and call me. Wishful thinking, maybe.

I’m not making light of Gaga’s situation because it could’ve been much more serious. I mean, the guy was shot. That’s pretty scary. Then again, if he was in fact targeted because people knew he had Lady Gaga’s dogs, that’s a different story than me being some random guy on a street walking my dog. Thankfully, the dog walker is expected to make a full recovery and Gaga’s dogs were returned unharmed.

Nevertheless, it’s worth thinking up ways to get around handing over your fur babies.